This time last week I was paralysed, my senses still reeling in complete shock and awe of what I had witnessed a few nights before. I’d seen about 6 threatening black men spit, scream, throw champagne towards me, holler obscenities at skankies, and generally bring da motherfuckin’ ruckus to the Enmore. These guys weren’t just any scary fellas however, they were part of one of the greatest hip hop groups in the world, gracing
The first time I listened to Wu Tang’s first (and undoubtedly best) album ‘Enter the Wu Tang (36 Chambers)’, for the first time a few months ago, I learnt all the words in about 3 days (just sayin’). I became obsessed with the way of the Wu, their Kung Fu symbolism, spirituality, and especially funny rhymes (my favourite is Method Man’s “I make a bitch squirm for my super sperm” ha!).They even make Chess seem like a profoundly spiritual experience! So when I heard the word on the street that they would be coming to Astraya together for the first time (minus Ghostface and Method) I figured it would be one of those “I-was-there” moments, so I dragged Bekay along too even though he seems to hate hip hop (he hasn’t come out and said this, I just get those bad vibes from him. I think he’s racist (Just kidding bud-dy!!!)).
An hour before the show, while I was still screwin’ around with fruit and veggies at work, earning that skrilla, cos, you know, cash rules everything around us (dollar dollar bill y’all), I received this text from Bekay. “Stretch limo, Wu Tang decals just passes me on
Lil Jon goofin' around n gettin' low
We were pushed for time, rushing to the Enmore to catch the last few songs of The King of Crunk, Lil Jon,who was in support. The other friend we were with, Marty, is a hip hop head and pointed out that most of the hardcore Wu fans here would be disgusted with the blasphemous choice of such a sell-out support act. But Lil Jon is undeniably fun, and I wanted to get a taste of that sweet and sexy crunk juice and hear him scream his assorted catchphrases such as, “Oookaaaayyy”, “Yeeeeeaaaahhhh”, and of course “Whhhaaaat”. His most famous song, ‘Get Low’, which I think everybody knows from Need For Speed, and I heard at a lot of bad parties back at school (you know the one that goes “3,6,9, here to grind, give it to me, give it to me, one more time”…..or something) went off at the end of his set.
One long-arse-line-waiting-for-beers-and-a-piss-break, later, we got back to the dancefloor and the place was no doubt sold out. You could barely move, and we were pretty much at the back of the front dancefloor, which wasn’t too bad (we weren’t stuck in the second dancefloor like suckas). The air was heavy with Wu fever. When the lights disappeared and their DJ, Mathematics, asked everybody to start chanting “Wu-Tang!”, with the iconic ‘W’ hand signs thrown up, that was it, the moment of truth was at hand, the killa beez were about to swarm.
Wu Tang Killa Beez: RZA (left), GZA (middle), Random (right)
Like a phoenix rising, RZA burst from the shadows in a spray of champagne that ended up on the crowd, leading his troops, Raekwon, GZA, Inspectah Deck, and two other unidentified rappers (filling in for Masta Killah and U-God, who had cancelled) into battle. Their Wu-Tang swords ready, they immediately cut into ‘Protect Ya Neck’, with everybody bouncing. Before anyone knew what was going on, this sliced that into ‘Ain’t Nuttin’ Ta Fuck Wit’, and that’s when the Enmore truly pooed its pants, losing its shit (never to be found again). There was not one person around me without a smile on their face. Here we unfortunately lost Bekay as well as my burrito dinner, when we tried to squeeze our way towards the front where the real action was, while the Wu brought out the rest of the early bangers like ‘Da Mystery of Chessboxin’, Clan In Da Front’ and especially ‘Bring Da Ruckus’ which utterly destroyed the venue. Eventually the time came for that (in)famous piano loop and Raekwon to utter the words “Cash Rules Everything Around Me”. While we were all transported to ghetto heaven for 3 minutes, our friend Marty turned to me and said ‘Oh mate, forgeddaboutit! This is a moment!’
GZA "The Genius" swinging his liquid swords
Raekwon (left) - "Fee Fi Fo Fum!" , Inspectah Deck (right)
After ‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya’, ‘Reunited’, ‘Gravel Pit’ ,other assorted Wu bangers, and a girl with no pants on but only swimmers on stage, the next ‘holy-crap!’ moment of the show came when the lights went off again and RZA asked everybody to pull out their lighter or mobile phone, of course in honour of Ol’ Dirty Bastard, all of us chanting ‘RIP ODB’. The Enmore lit up with stars, it was magic. It crossed my mind that they were just running through the motions of the show, having done this vigil hundreds of times already to a hundred other cities, but I quickly forgot about that and blocked out the negative energy. I’d like to think the spirit of ODB was in the room, being a clown somewhere.
However with giddy highs, come disappointing lows, and I must admit, the last 15 minutes of the set sucked. Raekwon “The Chef” had great hunger pains all over his face during the entire show, and disappeared out the back pretty quickly after the ODB vigil, I suspect for a cheeseburger or 4, with GZA following behind, probably to read up on Camus and smoke a blunt (I was looking forward to GZA the most, but he didn’t show much interest which kinda sucked). This left RZA, Inspectah Deck, and the other two randoms to hold the fort. RZA was the only one with any real energy, zapping life into the rest of the show by chugging champagne, running around and hollering at skankies. I naively thought they were all going to play their solo stuff, but alas they did not, and the show fizzled out from here. They left the stage for the last time quite unexpectedly. Naturally we all demanded an encore, and if they had given in, for example ran out at the last minute and dropped ‘Ain’t Nuthin; Ta Fuck Wit’ again, I swear to god the entire room would have exploded and we all would have spontaneously combusted. But the lights came on and nothing happened. I wish we had rioted. The energy was there.
Though don’t think for a second think that the show wasn’t amazing. We all left the Enmore converted to the way of the Wu with sweaty-arse shirts and huge smiles. Bekay even sent me a text after we’d parted ways at the train station, “Wu tang clan!!! Haha it was an experience that surpassed expectations!”. Word.
RZA "Bobby Digital". Nuff said.
P.S. The RZA is probably one of the coolest guys ever, and is the first to make it into my list of Wanted Drinking Buddies He carried the show on his shoulders and had a good ole fun time while doing it. Out of all the Wu, he (and his cousin GZA) seem the most genuine. DID YOU KNOW!?: He’s also produced the score for Kill Bill, written two books; The Manual of the Wu, focusing on the philosophy and history of Wu-Tang, and recently The Tao of the Wu, which focuses on RZA’s own path to spiritual enlightenment, inspired by Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Bruce Lee, and Islam. AND He’s even appeared in a Jim Jarmusch film, in a scene with GZA and Bill “ Motherfuckin’, Ghost-bustin’ ass”
P.P.S. Bigfella I know this is long, but I wrote something. I’m back in the game
Olds Cool.
ReplyDeletethe cat is back outta the hat!